February 2012
8 posts
This took so long to type
I was just cutting my waffles with my fork, when somehow I simultaneously spilled my plate, waffles, and syrup on myself and hit myself in the face with my plate, and that scared my puppy, and he spilled the gravity bong on my bedroom carpet.
Been sitting here for ten minutes trying to figure out what I wanna get up and do.
“It was half an hour ago. Or maybe like six hours ago. It was some amount of time...”
– My mom
“I felt a tremendous distance between me and everything real.”
– Hunter S. Thompson (via abrasive)
Why am I way better at fruit Ninja when I’m baked?
